Big Apple restaurants are really in a pickle. On July 24, 2020, New York’s esteemed governor, Corona Killer Cuomo, issued an Executive Order requiring that, in order to stay open during the Corona Crisis, bars must serve “substantive food. The Corona Killer defined substantive food as “More than just hors d’oeuvres, chicken wings. . . . The lowest level of substantive food were sandwiches.” Bars that violate this Order will have their liquor licenses immediately revoked and their addresses and front door keys turned over to the BLM movement.
To resolve this disaster, and to prevent the mass bankruptcy (and torching) of New York’s finest hostelry, the crack MOS’s Legal Definitional Section (The LDS of MOL) has devised a solution that will permit every gin joint in the great State of New York to stay open as long as they want!!
The solution? Cuomo Daily Bread! Since the Executive Order clearly categorizes sandwiches as a “substantive” food, LDS’s solution is to serve everything in the Inn on bread. Put everything in a sandwich!!
Besides saving a business and keeping their employees employed, every saloon will now be able to fashion masterful new culinary delicacies. The possibilities are endless: Swedish Meatball sandwiches; Shrimp Cocktail sandwiches; Macaroni and Cheese sandwiches; Clam Chowder (Manhattan style) sandwiches; Fruit Cup sandwiches; Clams Oreganata sandwiches; French Fry sandwiches; Grilled Garlic Toasts sandwiches; Soufflé au fromage sandwiches; and, my personal favorite, Buffalo Hot Wings sandwiches. Viola, industry saved!
Boy, when it comes to saving the New York tavern industry, everyone at MOL’s LDS are truly latter-day saints!!!
Although pickles have been around for over 4,000 years, they were refined and popularized by Jews from Eastern Europe in New York City in the late 19th century.
His words, not mine. Doesn’t it sound like a lawyer making a menu!
The constitutionality of which is really suspect.
Especially for heavy drinkers, like the LDS staff.
But not past 2:00 am. (4 am. in New York City, Buffalo, Albany, and Saratoga Springs).