FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA NEEDS UPDATING, REALLY!
BACKGROUND
Over the last 50 years, there have been many successful protests in our country. Some succeeded and some failed. But the most successful protests succeeded because they had the best protest slogans. Most slogans weren’t factually (or logically) accurate, but the best slogans had the correct syllable count and proper cadence!
Remember, “Hell No, We Won’t Go!” (from the Vietnam War), “We Shall—sometimes “Will”— Overcome” (from the civil rights movement), Build Back Better (Slo-Joe’s grand plan), or “Better Dead than Red” (from the anticommunist movement 1948-2023)? Aah, those glorious slogans.
Recently savages, er, I mean the perturbed Palestinians (p.p.s) in the Mideast have (presumably because of their perturbances), thrown off the yoke and mores of civilization and committed acts that are, unfortunately for the reader, fortunately for the author, quite unprintable. In doing so, these p.p.s have adopted a slogan that is a linguistic failure! In two ways! Their slogan fails linguistically, twice. It has the wrong syllable count, which causes the slogan to exhibit poor cadence when chanted (which makes it hard on the ears).
The plain truth is the slogan River to the Sea needs updating!
THE CURRENT SLOGAN AND ITS DILEMMA
Actual Palestinians (but mostly Palestinian wannabees) are currently chanting the following slogan loudly and at every chance they get.
FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA, PALESTINE WILL BE FREE
Besides being racist (and worse, boring), this slogan fails on the above two linguistical fronts. The slogan is fighting a two-front war.
We have performed an analysis of this slogan and have come up with a recommendation.
ANALYSIS OF THE LINGUISTIC PROBLEMS
When the slogan is chanted by the barbarians at the gates (of the tunnels) and on college campuses, its failings are more than readily apparent. See for yourself. Chant the following a few times:
From-The-Ri-ver-to the sea-Pal-es-tine-will-be-free.
Notice anything askew? Yep, it’s missing a syllable, which throws off the slogan’s cadence. (And at a demonstration, cadence is everything!) These faults make the slogan hard on the ears.
Let’s start to clean it up. Repeat the chant with a blank syllable inserted:
From-The-Ri-ver-to the sea-Pal-es-tine-will-blank-be-free.
See! The added syllable (in this case, the “blank”) makes the slogan correctly syllabled, properly cadenced, and much easier on the ears!
Everyone knows that when a slogan urging the destruction of an entire country (Click Button Below) is skreiched at a demonstration, correct syllable count, proper military-like cadence, and easy listening are very important. Far more important than what the slogan actually advocates.
THE SOLUTION
In the interest of (at least) aural peace, we at MOL humbly offer a far more classic and refined slogan that contains a correct syllables count, proper cadence, and is much easier on the ears of a civilized audience.
FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA, PALESTINE WILL NEVER BE
We understand that our modification slightly changes the slogan’s meaning, but let’s be frank, no one really cares about the verbiage or the meaning of political slogans, they only listen to them (and chant along) because they are easy on the ears. We say, change the slogan and give our ears a rest!!
Chant away!!
Alan Bianco
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