Recently, former Miami Dolphin’s Head Coach, Brian Flores, filed a massive class action lawsuit. He sued the National Football League (NFL), the New York Giants, the Miami Dolphins, the Denver Broncos, and all the other NFL teams. Flores alleges that the league (and the teams therein) are racist because not enough of them are led by black Head Coaches. African Americans comprise 12.1 percent of all Americans but not 12.1 Percent of NFL Head Coaches.
Mr. Flores is correct. The percentage of black head coaches is not identical to the percentage of black Americans. This is not “equitable”, nor is it “equal”.
To be 100% fair, the system must be changed and we at MOL are just the ones to figure out how to do it.
While we were researching a way to make the NFL absolutely perfect, we discovered that the percentage of Asian, Pacific Islander, or Hispanic head coaches is not “equitable” or “equal” either! We studied this problem in depth and have come up with a solution. (See our analysis and comments at https://www.meaningoflifesatire.com/brian-flores-victim-of-racism-or-petulant-child/. And if you agree.)
Mr. Flores wants to bring “equity” and “equality” to the NFL. We can show him how. But he might not be happy with the results.
The Solution - How to Bring "Equity" and "Equality" to the NFL
There is only one way to achieve absolute “equity” and “equality”. The NFL head coaching team must look just like America! That is to say that the percentage of African American, European American, Hispanic American, Pacific Islander American, and Asian American Head Coaches must exactly match the percentage of African American, European American, Hispanic American, Pacific Islander American, and Asian American Americans!
The following chart shows the current ethnic breakdown of NFL Head Coaches as well as the ethnic breakdown of America in general. To achieve true “equity” and “equality”, in 2022, the NFL must fire twelve white head coaches. They must hire three African American head coaches, five Hispanic head coaches, one Pacific Islander American head coach, and two Asian American head coaches. Then, voila, NFL head coach ethnicity will now match American ethnicity! Everyone wins! (Except twelve European American head coaches.)
Like Brian Flores, we too want “equity” and “equality” for all. Hence, it is important to ensure that the ethnicity of the NFL’s field force’s (aka the players’) also match the ethnicity of America at large.
The following chart shows how this can be accomplished. In 2022, the NFL must fire seven hundred seventy African American players. They must hire five hundred fifty European American players, three hundred ten Hispanic American players, sixty-five Pacific Islander American players, and ninety-eight Asian American players.
Once the above firings and hirings have been accomplished, “equity” and “equality” will have been achieved everywhere. All will (again) be right with the world!
The chart below shows the effect “equity” and “equality” would have on the ethnic makeup of both the coaches and players in the NFL. It is a tough job but it must be done!
Again, everybody wins (except 767 African Americans). Is this what Flores had in mind? Seems a bit racist to me!