Heading-Declaration of Dependence

Liberal States Sign Declaration of Dependence, To Leave the Union!!

A New "Declaration" Is Signed

In a recent secret caucus, fourteen liberal states and their caucus partners approved and signed a “Declaration of Dependence”. These states (and their partners) had intended to publish this “declaration” right after November’s elections and then immediately secede from the United States to form their own country: The Partnered Woke Nation of Persons of Darker Color and Indigiens, but not Persons of Lighter Color or Asians (hopefully to be abbreviated as “P. Woke Nate”)!

This new “declaration” revokes our sacred Declaration of Independence (and the rights mentioned therein) and replaces it with a Declaration of Dependence (which is entirely secular and provides new, only temporary, and really weird rights to the citizens of P. Woke Nate).

The Reasons For The Split

Proponents of the new “declaration” say that only by issuing this “declaration” and forming a new nation will the ruling elites be able to a) establish and maintain the dictatorial powers they deserve; b) restrict in all ways, any subhuman who opposes them; and c) restrict, limit, and eliminate the rights of any of their citizens who get in their way.

These states (and their caucus partners) further say that the new “declaration” eliminates “old fashioned” ideals/rights that are outdated and no longer necessary, such as God; de facto equality; untainted elections; free speech, press, religion, and assembly; and indeed, the entire concept of rights arising from God or nature rather than being solely granted by the government. These ideals/rights have no place in today’s world, they add.

Their Nefarious Plot

The “declaration’s” proponents knew that the “declaration” would have to be kept secret until after election day. They were aware that if word got out beforehand, their electoral ass kicking in the November would be exacerbated.

The “declaration’s” proponents also knew that they had to secede from the United States before January 3, 2023, when normal (i.e. Republicans, Joe Manchin, and Krysten Sinema) people will again control Congress{1} and stop the liberal’s crazy plot. Secrecy was the secret to this insurrectional plot.

MOL To The Rescue!

Fortunately, one of MOL’s crack secret agents{2} foiled their plan. She purloined a copy of the signed “declaration” from a walled, undisclosed location in Pacific Heights, CA. and e-mailed it to our offices.

Now, in the name of truth, justice, and the American way, we at MOL are publishing a signed copy of this Declaration of Dependence (in two formats, original text and extra crispy readable text.) for all the world to see! Read it and weep (or read it, rejoice and wish them, “Good riddance!”)!


{1} Both Houses
{2} It was the cleaning lady.


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