MOL Now Favors Gun Licensing!

Earlier this week, New York Governor “Chatty” Kathy Hochul tweeted. “Last night, a shot from an illegal gun took the life of a @NYPDnews{1} officer.”

Okay, that’s it! We at The Meaning of Life ~ World’s Greatest Political Satire!!! (MOL) have had it. It is time to stop illegal guns from killing innocent people, especially innocent police men/women/person/persons/trans/cis/LBGTQs/XYZs{2} performing their duty. After analyzing the problem, we have a solution. The only way to prevent illegal guns from killing people is to strictly license them. It is time for gun licensing. MOL advocates the following tripartite strict licensing scheme:

  1. Illegal guns must apply for and receive a license before they can load themselves; and,
  2. Illegal guns must apply for and receive a license before they can travel by themselves after they have loaded themselves; and,
  3. Illegal guns must apply for and receive a license before they can, by themselves and without any human input or activity, shoot and/or kill innocent people.

MOL further recommends that, should an illegal gun be convicted of violating one or more of the above proposed laws, that gun be imprisoned for life{3}, without the possibility of parole!

{1} We at MOL are not quite sure what Chatty meant when she identified the murdered NYPD (which stands for New York City {the word “City” is silent} Police Department) officer as an “NYPDNews officer”. There is no evidence that the murdered officer was assigned NYPDNews, the department’s official Twitter page.
{2} To avoid gender bigotry, MOL always uses the most inclusive job titles possible. We always append XY and Z to the end of any gender description. XY and Z represent any gender we inadvertently left out.
{3} Since illegal guns are made of metal, their lifetime is somewhat longer than the lifetime of flesh and blood human beings. Therefore, each convicted gun will have to be imprisoned for a minimum of 45.2 million years.

Alan Bianco
Alan Bianco

I am an OG (old guy) who recently retired and now lives south of the Mason Dixon line. I have always wanted to write on politics and now I do, with a twinkle in my eye and a quick wit in my posts. I hope reading my commentaries makes you think... and wonder... and laugh.